Today marks my last game in the FXFL and possibly my last game of this season. However, I am highly encouraged and optimistic as I’ve felt I had some satisfactory performances these past couple weeks. There are a few scouts attending the game and my emotions are at a stand still. The one thing that this league has done is remind me of who I play the game for. I have no choice but to play for these particular reasons:
For My God who have gave me gifts that I must not waste;
For the ones that believe that I can do it; and
Ultimately for myself.
This experience has been humbling to say the least. When you go from 5 years at a major university and getting drafted by NFL team, both situations where everything is taken care of for the most part, to now riding yellow school buses, buying your own gear, cleats, protective pads, food (which if no one is cooking can add up to a hefty amount), and rental cars for transportation. Never in my 24 years did I think this is where I’d be in my football career, but I’ve enjoyed it.
You hear that in your darkest times a light appears but sometimes you have to strike a match to see. While I contemplate what I’m doing about every other day, there has been joy from the people that are surrounding me. This team (which sometimes reminds me of certain movies I’ve watched growing up e.g., Longest Yard, Bad News Bears, Hardball, etc.) has helped me grow into an even bigger person than I ever imagined. You learn that somewhere in the world regardless of what journey you’re on there are people following on the same trail, and while you may have different agendas, you are all searching for a similar outcome.
For a while, I had lost my way. Throughout my college career and my brief NFL stint, I often times found myself sinking into a depression not knowing why I played or who I played for. There were times where I’d be sitting in the car and just cry because I felt like I was alone and that no one truly cared about me, rather only what I could do on the football field whether it was family, friends, or fans. There was a void in my heart…
TO BE CONTINUED